Jimmy Saville and Me
Guest Starring: Komiyan and TLH
And Introducing CJ Burgandy as Officer CJ
PART I
<MrBob> Do you know anyone who has a Jim Fixed It For Me badge?
* Guest630 has joined #keenspace
* Guest630 is now known as Komiyan
* MrBob combs Komiyan
<Mooman> If I did they'd be dead and hidden by now, with that badge proudly standing above my fireplace, like a soldier, guarding my dark, dark secret, but secretly taunting me while I sleep.
<Komiyan> and now i am tangle-free.
* MrBob combs Komiyan to death and steals her badge
<Komiyan> ack, my.. what?
<MrBob> Your badge!
<MrBob> The one that you didnt want us to know about!
<MrBob> But I did anyway
<MrBob> You know what I'm talking about!
<MrBob> Don't you try deny it you..fixee!!!
<Komiyan> i wish :(
<Komiyan> i have my brownie badge.
<Komiyan> i was a gnome.
<Mooman> I think I will begin plotting.
<Komiyan> plotting for what, hmm, hmm?
<Mooman> Mass murder and badge theft. Duh.
<Komiyan> hey, there's mocking ant and dec
<MrBob> That's not what Im talking about! 1989. You wote a letter to Jimmy Saville saying that you wanted to eat a whole tub of Yorkshire pudding. He gave you one and you ate it, and then.. you were presented with a Jim fixed it badge. When the show was aired, you hid in shame and changed you identity hoping noone would ever know the truth. But I do. Do you remember me???
* Komiyan pats bob on the head
<MrBob> The boom operator Dom, and his best friend the cameraman. YES! YES! now do you remember?? Me?
<MrBob> I was the lens!!!
<Mooman> Oh my God! As the number one fan to the point of obsession of Jim'll Fix It I have a tape of every show and by jove I remember that I must contact the police before it's too late!
* Guest212 has joined #keenspace
* Guest212 is now known as CJ_at_work
<Komiyan> ...is CJ the police?
<Mooman> You bet your face
<CJ_at_work> no
<MrBob> Damn. they're faster than they used to be
<Mooman> She's undercover
<Mooman> But if you look
<CJ_at_work> mmmm women in uniform
<Mooman> <CJ_at_work>
<Mooman> There's your proof
<Komiyan> ahh
<MrBob> of course!
<Komiyan> working.. as a police officer!
<MrBob> Nice try CJ!
<MrBob> You nearly had us there
<Komiyan> officer, arrest that bob!
<CJ_at_work> does that mean I get handcuffs?
<CJ_at_work> ^_^
<Mooman> I have seven thousand tapes of evidence!
<MrBob> Quick boys! The bobbies are here! Make a run for it!
* MrBob jumps into his getaway vehicle
<Mooman> Who's driving?
* CJ_at_work puts out some tire punchure strips
<MrBob> I dont know. It doesnt have a steering wheel
<Mooman> Cunning
<Mooman> They'll never expect that
* MrBob 's getaway vehicle is a jam tart
<Komiyan> clearly someone here is telepathic.
<Komiyan> what flavour jam?
<MrBob> Blackcurrant
<Mooman> Egad! You evil genius!
<CJ_at_work> wait?... why am I arresting people?
<Komiyan> strawberry goes faster than blackcurrant
<Komiyan> you're no jam tart racer.
<Mooman> But blackcurrant can drive up stairs
<Mooman> And here we are in the stair capital of the world
<Komiyan> an escher painting?
<CJ_at_work> Escherville?
<Komiyan> or that last room from labryinth?
<Mooman> All of the above
<MrBob> UPWARDSS!!!
* MrBob 's tartmobile drives upwards
<Komiyan> cause that one has david bowie at the end of it
<Mooman> Maybe David Bowie's the getaway driver!
* CJ_at_work once wanted to be David bowie....
<Komiyan> he is a fine tart racer :)
* CJ_at_work secretly still does
<Komiyan> mm, bowie.
<Mooman> We must chase after that tart!
<CJ_at_work> why?
<Mooman> So you can arrest Bob
<MrBob> If you continue eating it we'll never get away!
<Komiyan> quick, to the swiss roll!
<CJ_at_work> why am I arresting Bob though?
<MrBob> Because if you don't, I'll get away!!
* CJ_at_work is now known as Officer_CJ
<Komiyan> tesco value swiss roll
<Komiyan> 17p
* MrBob hops onto the roll
<Komiyan> hey, get off my roll, you felon
<Mooman> He's taken the roll!
<Mooman> Quick!
<Komiyan> i paid good money for that!
<War> Ooo, Tesco swiss roll.
* MrBob is on a roll
* Komiyan dies of pun
* War steals it
<Komiyan> noooooo
<MrBob> Noo! Damn thieves!
<Mooman> I have a bourbon biscuit! Get on the back!
<Mercury_Hat> You foreigners and your foods.
* Komiyan chases in a jammie dodger
<MrBob> I guess I'll just have to make the biscuit!
* Mooman revs his bourbon biscuit
* Mooman rides off into the sunset
<Mooman> Ouch! It burns!
* Officer_CJ handcuffs Komiyan
<MrBob> Yahoooo!
<Komiyan> ack! and also ooh!
<MrBob> Oh no! Watch out Mooman! It's a lake of tea!!!!
<Mooman> If I hit the custard cream button we should be able to jump it!
<MrBob> Are you crazy man?
<MrBob> We'll never make it!
<Mooman> I would be lying if I said I was made of jam.
* Mooman hits the button
<Komiyan> dunk the rich tea biccy
<Komiyan> its the only biscuit that can make it across tea!
* MrBob screams
* Mooman jumps the lake of tea in slow motion
<Komiyan> watch out, there's three sugars in there!
* MrBob is still covering his eyes
* Mooman kicks the sugars as they leap for him in a stylish Matrix-style
* MrBob is still covering his eyes
<Mooman> With oodles of bullet time
* Komiyan flings a teaspoon at mooman
<Mooman> Oh no! It's hit the engine! We'll have to jump!
<Officer_CJ> bourbon tarts have engines?
* Mooman jumps off the bourbon biscuit
* TLH has joined #keenspace
<MrBob> I suppose that's the way the cookie crumbles!
* MrBob jumps
* Mooman uses his wafer thin mint as a parachute
<Mooman> Quick, Bob!
* MrBob falls like Drop scone
<Mooman> Use your emergency donut!
* Komiyan skims a rich tea across the pond
<Komiyan> hang on to that, bob
* MrBob floats on the donut
<MrBob> I dont know how long it can last!
<MrBob> Its dissolving!
<Mooman> Oh no!
* Officer_CJ helps reel in the donut
<Komiyan> hooray!
<Officer_CJ> a good cop can't let a donut go to waste!
<MrBob> Hooray!
<MrBob> Im saved!
* Officer_CJ arrests bob once he's on shore
<MrBob> Wait a sec.. Im arrested!
<Komiyan> that donut is now in good hands.
<Komiyan> can i be less handcuffed now? its incredibly hard to type
<MrBob> Damn and bother!
* Mooman uses a chocolate Hob Nob and a convenient napkin as a windsurfing board
<Officer_CJ> aww but I like you in hand cuffs ^_^
<Mooman> I will save you from the law, Bob, since I know, at heart, that you are truly innocent!
<MrBob> Well hurry up Mooman!
<Officer_CJ> I still have no idea what Bob is being charged with
<Komiyan> hey, what about saving me from the law? she's got that look in her eyes!
<Komiyan> :D
* War sentences Bob to death and shoots him between the eyes
<MrBob> WAIT A SE-
* Mooman performs a heroic bullet time dive on to the shore
<Mooman> And takes the bullet
PART II
* TLH missed something here.
<MrBob> Mooman..
<Komiyan> we seem to be sailing on biscuits over a lake of tea, tlh
<Mooman> I hit enter too early
<Mooman> Anyway
<Mooman> AAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!
* War fires again
<Mooman> That one went in my arm!
<Komiyan> and i seem to be handcuffed to cj :p
<TLH> Oh. That's very interesting.
* MrBob gets down and coddles Moomnan's limp body
<MrBob> Mooman?
<TLH> ...but THAT'S for real interesting.
* Officer_CJ lets War take over while she umm.... take care of my spoils ^_^
<TLH> Mmm... bondage.
<Officer_CJ> man, why didn't you guys make me a cop earlier... I like this having handcuffs
<MrBob> Talk to me Mooman
<Mooman> It's...it's getting dark...
<Komiyan> eeek
<MrBob> MOOMAN!
<MrBob> WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY MOOMAN???
<Mooman> Tell Tiny Tim that....I hate...him......GGGGYYYAAAAAHHHHHHHH............
<MrBob> NOOOOO
<MrBob> *music*
* War shoots Bob now that Mooman is out of the way
<MrBob> *music abruptly stops*
PART III
* Crossfire25 is now known as Medic
* MrBob is now known as mrbobs_ghost
<Komiyan> but i'm innocent, officer ;)
<Komiyan> :p
<Officer_CJ> innocent... not after I'm done!
* Medic goes to work on Mr. Bob and Mooman
<Medic> I love my job
* War shoots Medic
* War hijacks a car and reverses over Medic
<Mooman> Oh wait. I'm wearing a bulletproof vest.
<Mooman> It's made from digestive
<Komiyan> is your head wearing one?
<Mooman> My head is made from pure lead.
<mrbobs_ghost> Well, thats conveniant. FOR YOU
<Komiyan> score.
<Medic> that explains a lot actually... the lead head.
<Mooman> I have neck muscles the size of tree trunks
<TLH> That's qutie the feat.
<Mooman> But I must revive Bob
* Komiyan sets up a ouija board, which is hard to do when handcuffed
<TLH> (neck-sized tree trunks)
<Komiyan> maybe they're bonsai trees?
<mrbobs_ghost> bamboo?
<Mooman> Do you want to be revived or not?
<Komiyan> just electrocute him a bit, or whatever :)
<Mooman> We'll have to go on a great quest with adventure and stuff
<mrbobs_ghost> What?
<Mooman> Wait!!!
<mrbobs_ghost> Great quest?
<Mooman> I know what to do!!!
<mrbobs_ghost> Ok, I dont want to have to wait that long
<Komiyan> i like great quests.
<Komiyan> they have loot.
<Mooman> I will phone Jimmy Saville, and he will fix it for Bob to be alive!!!
<Komiyan> ahh!
<Mooman> It all ties in!
<mrbobs_ghost> And Im not fond of the electocution either
<Komiyan> Jim can fix it!!
* Mooman phones Jimmy Saville and tells him to fix it so Bob is alive.
<Komiyan> and thus the circle of life goes on!
<mrbobs_ghost> Yegads! What a splendid idea!
<Komiyan> and then mooman gets the badge, and BOB DOESN'T.
<mrbobs_ghost> What did he say?
<Mooman> He said he will for 3 buckets of gold
<Komiyan> i have £2.57
<Komiyan> check your pockets, guys
<Mooman> So I'm going to have to ask everyone to chip in, because I'm a little short. And I don't have a lot of money too. Ho ho.
* Komiyan passes a hat around
<Mooman> Wait
<Mooman> Maybe we can go on a GREAT QUEST for these three buckets of gold
<Komiyan> lets kill a dragon, they have gold.
<Mooman> And in the meantime Bob can inherit the body of some kind of cute mascot creature with a squeaky voice
<Komiyan> you know, a small one.
* Medic is now known as Crossfire25
<mrbobs_ghost> SAVE THE BOB FUND
<Mooman> This calls for a Christmas single!
<Mooman> So, we're passing the hat around, performing a Christmas single and slaying a dragon.
<Mooman> That might cover it
<TLH> I call a dragon fang.
<TLH> Dibs, I say. Dibs.
<Komiyan> you can make a nice necklace out of them
<Komiyan> and sell them by the seaside.
<Komiyan> put them under your pillow
<Komiyan> BIG score from the tooth fairy there
<Mooman> You could sell it to the dragon's parents, but that would be rather cruel.
<Mooman> Anyway
* Mooman draws his sword
* TLH DRAWS his sword. Get it? Haw.
<Mooman> Time to murder a big fantasy creature
* Komiyan draws two swords. they're standard issue for drow, dontcherknow.
* War prises all your teeth out as you sleep
* mrbobs_ghost is now known as furry_mascot
<furry_mascot> I suppose I'll distract it by being all cute and fuzzy and shit
<Mooman> Well, that is your fate
<furry_mascot> Well lets get this over with
<Mooman> Say something amusing for the kids, Bob
<furry_mascot> Ok kids, Wipe your bloody noses and shut the HELL up when Daddy is watching Sky sports
<Komiyan> aww!
<Mooman> Awww, how cute
<Komiyan> sack the quest, let's sell bob plushies.
<Komiyan> we'd make a ton
<TLH> I'd definitely buy one.
* furry_mascot opens a can of lager, downs it in one gulp and burps
<Mooman> Well that was the plan all along. You should've paid attention at the marketing meeting.
<Komiyan> i wasn't invited :(
<Mooman> Well now
<Mooman> We'll have to think about an animated spin-off
<Komiyan> and the manga version
<furry_mascot> Wot?? Im not going to reproduced in bloody manga format cartoons!
<Mooman> And some illegal porn on the internet
<furry_mascot> If Im going to be on TV it has to be with a girl with large knockers
<furry_mascot> and lots of beer
<furry_mascot> Maybe The Generations game
<Komiyan> see, he's so marketably adorable
<Mooman> he needs a catchphrase
* Komiyan hugs furry_mascot
<furry_mascot> I'd give that co-presenter a right seeing too
<furry_mascot> and if that Mr Blobby looks at me funny I'll do him in
<furry_mascot> Bloody pink poofta
<Mooman> That's it!
<Mooman> "Bloody pink poofta!"
<Mooman> Think of the t-shirts!
<Komiyan> you can hug the plushies, and they'd say it
<Crossfire25> I'd buy it!
<Mooman> Awesome
<furry_mascot> $80 a shirt
* TLH does a double-take.
<furry_mascot> and thats without VAT
<Mooman> Also, lunchboxes!
<TLH> $80??!
<Mooman> And cigarettes!
* Komiyan sells knock-off shirts on ebay
<furry_mascot> Oi! You got a problem wif it?
<TLH> Holy crap, that t-shirt better jack you off, too.
<Komiyan> complete with peeling transfers
<furry_mascot> Its a bloody good T-SHirt
<Komiyan> thus making 1.7 buckets of gold.
<Mooman> It comes in 8 billion colours
<furry_mascot> And anyone who doesnt buy one gets a good arsekicking from me
<Mooman> We are only 1.3 buckets away
* cortland has joined #KeenSPACE
<Crossfire25> it's Cortland!
<cortland> Good evening, everybody!
<furry_mascot> Oi! You! You with the apples! Yes you! buy the T-shirt or I'll do you in!
<cortland> What t-shirt?
<furry_mascot> these T-shirts
<Mooman> Oh no! Since we've sold them all the public have become bored! Here comes the backlash!
<Mooman> We'll have to release the original quest, but make it darker and call it 'Quest: X-Treme'
<Komiyan> cortland! do you have 1.3 buckets of gold on you?
<Officer_CJ> Gold... I hope nothing illegal is going on...
* Officer_CJ eyes them
<Crossfire25> >.>
<Crossfire25> <.<
<Komiyan> no, officer :)
<Mooman> Oh, the dragon died from commercialisation.
<Komiyan> excellent
<Komiyan> steal its horde
<Mooman> That's 1.2 buckets of gold
* TLH comes out of the back room with some slaves.
<TLH> Zuh oh
<Komiyan> so we're missing 0.1 buckets
<Mooman> We are 0.1 buckets of gold short
<Komiyan> let's sell tlh's slaves :D
<Mooman> Hurrah!
<Komiyan> or tlh himself
<Mooman> Capitalism rocks!
<Officer_CJ> are they male or female TLH?
<TLH> WHAT CHILD SLAVES??!
* Komiyan sells a tonberry, like new, on ebay
* TLH runs away and puts on his greatest disguise!
* TLH is now known as not-TLH
<Komiyan> ack, dont run away, i'll get negative feedback!
* Officer_CJ hand cuffs Komiyan again... because she can
<Komiyan> ack!
<not-TLH> Hehehhe. Awesome.
<Mooman> Egad
<not-TLH> Random handcuffing.
<Komiyan> it's not random, she's aiming for me!
<Officer_CJ> it's that underdark skin and pearly white hair....
<Komiyan> ack! but.. but.. i draw me as a guy!
<Mooman> How are we to make this 0.1 bucket of gold?!
<War> Everyone chip in a kidney.
<Mooman> I guess we have no choice
<Mooman> One of us will have to whore ourself out!
PART IV
<Komiyan> i vote you
<furry_mascot> Do it for the team Mooman
<Mooman> It can't be me, I have a bad back
<Komiyan> you're outnumbered
<furry_mascot> Dont worry. All you have to do is lie down
<not-TLH> Can't we just make fool's gold?
<Mooman> Jimmy Saville can tell the difference
<Mooman> Well
<Mooman> It looks like I'll have to
<furry_mascot> We're right behind you mate
<Komiyan> go on, mooman
<Mooman> Because underneath it all, I know that Bob is truly innocent of whatever the hell it was we were saying earlier.
<furry_mascot> Well.. not really
<Komiyan> bob, pimp him out
<Officer_CJ> don't worry mooman, we'll tell the ladies that you're scottish and they'll be in here in a heart beat
<War> Curse my lack of a scottish accent.
<Mercury_Hat> Aw, I like your accent how it is, War.
<War> :3
<Mooman> Right
<Mooman> Off I go
* Mooman strides out
* not-TLH slips Moo-dawg some contraceptives.
<not-TLH> F*ck as much as you like... but do it with a condom.
<Komiyan> see, a responsible perv :)
<furry_mascot> He better be back soon. My body's startin to decompose
* Mooman comes back in
<Mooman> Right
<Mooman> I made 0.09 buckets of gold.
<Mooman> And my chiropractor is furious
<Komiyan> argh
<furry_mascot> What? How did you manage that?
<Komiyan> you second rate ho.
<Mooman> The rest was spent on my surgery
<Mooman> And my weekend in Barbados
<furry_mascot> You damned traitor! What about the team??
<Mooman> The team didn't have to whore itself out, now did it?
<not-TLH> The team didn't. You did.
<Mooman> Exactly
<furry_mascot> Of course not. I aint going out there
<Komiyan> nah, the furries would get you :D
<not-TLH> Besides, Necrophilia is sooooo last year.
<Komiyan> 0.01 buckets
<furry_mascot> We could just steal it
<furry_mascot> Fort Knox. Pull off a daring heist
* Officer_CJ is glad she's a crooked cop
<Komiyan> cant you sell some evidence, cj?
<Officer_CJ> I probably can
<Komiyan> nudge nudge, wink wink
* Officer_CJ goes off to sell some evidence she snaged from TLH
<Mooman> Will it make 0.01 buckets of gold?
<Officer_CJ> yep it did
<Komiyan> woo!
<Mooman> Hurrah!
<Mooman> We now have all three buckets of gold!
<Officer_CJ> whats the money for?
<Komiyan> to fixit.
<Mooman> I'll go phone Jimmy
<Mooman> Hurrah! He's coming right over with some magical Jimmy-dust.
<not-TLH> *coughcocainecough
<furry_mascot> oh. well, thank god we didn have to rob fort knox then
<Komiyan> well, we could do anyway.
<Mooman> Wait, I have a phone call
<Mooman> Oh no!
<furry_mascot> What? Dont tell me he died!
<Mooman> Jimmy Saville's been kidnapped on his way over!!!
PART V
<furry_mascot> NO!
<Mooman> The thieves want three buckets of gold for his safe return
<furry_mascot> Dammit!
<Mooman> So what now?
<furry_mascot> WHy do they always want gold?
<furry_mascot> What about soil?
<Komiyan> lets kill them! and eat their brains!
<Komiyan> i mean.. just kill them.
<furry_mascot> Paying them in soil would have been easier
* Officer_CJ arrests a leprechaun
* Komiyan paints some soil gold
<Komiyan> here, mooman, give them this
<Mooman> We must perform a groovy break-in and attempt to get him back in an expertly directed espoinage film
<furry_mascot> ALL RIGHT
* furry_mascot dresses in black
<Mooman> This soil will hold them off for a few minutes
<Mooman> But the gold paint makes it tacky, so depreciates it's value
<Mooman> Anyway
* Mooman gets in his Solid Snake gear
<Komiyan> line up for black coats and sunglasses, then
<not-TLH> No,no. I have a plan.
<not-TLH> We kidnap the kidnapper's mom.
<not-TLH> We'll see what's what.
<Komiyan> ahh
<Komiyan> outkidnap them
<furry_mascot> All right team get in the van. Mooman does the decoy deal with the soil, while TLH has his way with their mums. Then Komi and I break in through the windows and duff everyone up. Got it?
<Mooman> They don't have parents, they specifically told me during the phone call
<Officer_CJ> no one cares that I arrested a leprechaun then...?
<Komiyan> wait, whats that that leprchauns always have...?
<Komiyan> ...lucky charms! :D
<Officer_CJ> exactly! we'll never go hungry again
<Komiyan> maybe they'll accpet these instead
<Komiyan> they're tastier than gold
<Mooman> Wait, I don't get to have fun with a silenced pistola? :(
<furry_mascot> You can do whatever you like once they work out that the gold's fake
<not-TLH> Holy crap. This is confusing.
<Komiyan> its soil. see, even you were fooled.
<not-TLH> Okay...
<Mooman> Well, will they be fooled by this big pink van that says "Espoinage Mission" on the side?
<furry_mascot> OF COURSE! NOW GET IN THE VAN
* Mooman gets in the van
<Officer_CJ> I'll have to stay here
<Officer_CJ> they always get mad if you bring the cops
* not-TLH messes up the plan and kidnaps... himself!!
<Komiyan> you can go save tlh from himself
* Officer_CJ arrests TLH on kidnapping charges
<not-TLH> CRAP!
<not-TLH> I DIDN'T DO IT!
<Officer_CJ> if I weren't at work at the moment, I'd so draw Officer CJ
PART VI
* furry_mascot drives the van to the kidnappers secret base
<Mooman> Right, I'm going in. Synchronise watches!
<Komiyan> i dont have one
* not-TLH looks at his wrist-sundial.
* furry_mascot doesnt have a watch
<Mooman> Never mind then
* Mooman rings the doorbell
<Komiyan> and now you run away before they answer
<Mooman> Oh no! They're not in!
<furry_mascot> WHAT??
<furry_mascot> BUGGER!
<Mooman> Scuppered!
<Mooman> Quick
<Mooman> Smash the window!
<not-TLH> Use paint!
<not-TLH> :D
<not-TLH> BREAK STUFF!
* Mooman throws Bob the furry mascot through the window
<not-TLH> Oh no! It's only a PAINTING of a window!
<Komiyan> doh!
* furry_mascot smashes in through the windows and breaks everything
<Komiyan> he smashed through the bricks, even
<Officer_CJ> impressive
<furry_mascot> ow
<furry_mascot> my head
<not-TLH> According to physics, his brain should have been vaporized.
* Mooman bullet time dives in after him
<Mooman> Right, we must find Jimmy
<Mooman> Before they come back
* Komiyan watches through the window-hole and wishes you the best of luck
* furry_mascot duffs everyone up inside, including TLH, CJ, merc, Jimmy Saville, mooman, Turnsky and the cleaning lady
<Mooman> Ouch
<Mercury_Hat> ...I don't know what that means ;_;
<furry_mascot> WHO ELSE WANTS SOME???
<Komiyan> hooray, i escape unharmed
<Officer_CJ> but Komiyan is still hand cuffed to me
* Mooman puts Bob the furry mascot in a box until after he's completed the mission
<Mooman> He must be upstairs!
* Mooman runs up the stairs
* Komiyan drags CJ in through the window-hole
<Mooman> Egad! I've found a portal to another dimension! That must be where they've hidden him!
<Komiyan> i'm missing the fiiiight :(
<not-TLH> Strangest. Infiltration. Evar.
<Komiyan> that was the aim. take 'em by surpise!
* furry_mascot is helplesss in cage as thugs return!
<Mooman> They returned? Oh no!
<Mooman> Quick!
* Officer_CJ uncuffs Komiyan to make it easier to move
<Komiyan> yay! i'm free!
* Mooman puts on his Batman costume
* furry_mascot is beaten up
<Mooman> Let's beat their faces and stuff
* Mooman beats some faces
<Mooman> 'BAM!' 'KAPOW!' 'WHAM!'
* Komiyan stabs some stuff
* Mooman frees Bob
<furry_mascot> Hooray!
<furry_mascot> Now lets take their wallets!
<Mooman> They don't have wallets, they're welsh
<furry_mascot> Wallets? Then these must be OUR wallets
<furry_mascot> Damn! Not a bit of gold in the wallets! Only silver!
* not-TLH steals some cocaine. For later.
* Komiyan checks the wallets, and finds jimmy saville!
<furry_mascot> That was just a jimmy saville photo komi!
<Komiyan> doh
<Komiyan> i make that mistake so often
<Mooman> Ok, team, let's go upstairs and find Jimmy Saville in the hidden dimension!
* Mooman leaps through the portal
<furry_mascot> Quick! To the dimesion!
* furry_mascot follows
* Komiyan jumps in
* Officer_CJ steps through too
PART VII
<Mooman> Egad! it's exactly the same as our dimension, except everyone looks like various types of tree!!
<Mooman> And some other stuff, too.
* not-TLH is now known as Sequoia-TLH
<Sequoia-TLH> You fools!
* Sequoia-TLH slays mad peoplez.
<Mooman> Like the sky being purple, and it raining jam.
<furry_mascot> What brave new world is this we stumble into?
<furry_mascot> And where is the bloody dragon?
<furry_mascot> You promised a dragon!
<Komiyan> its a pine dragon
<Mooman> The dragon died in Act 6.
<furry_mascot> Bloody pink poofter
<Komiyan> see, over there, near the hill of fish
<furry_mascot> Gadzooks! Its a giant sea Bass!
<Komiyan> it has four strings and a deeper sound!
<Mooman> Quick
<furry_mascot> We're done for!
<Mooman> Everyone fight it off!
<Mooman> It's our only chance!
<furry_mascot> You distract it while I try tie this string to this stick
* Officer_CJ beats it with her night stick
* Mooman attacks with sword, still wearing full Batman garb
* furry_mascot ties a string to a rod
* furry_mascot looks in his pocket for a hook
* furry_mascot finds a paperclip
* Komiyan places furry mascot on the hook
<Mooman> Hurry, bob! We kick arse, but are slowly being overwhelmed!
* Komiyan sits on the bank and catches fish
* furry_mascot looks around for a worm
<furry_mascot> heeeeere wormy wormy
<furry_mascot> heeeeere wormy wormy
<Sequoia-TLH> Snakes are worms, right?
* Sequoia-TLH waves around a reticulated python.
<Komiyan> hehe, that tree has a snake.
<furry_mascot> Exactly what I needed!
* furry_mascot attaches TLH to the hook
<furry_mascot> OKAY MOOMAN! IM READY FOR IT NOW
<Mooman> OK! Let it rip or something!!
<Mooman> CJ has it pinned down with some advanced literature.
* furry_mascot rolls back and flings TLH towards the Giant Sea bass
<Sequoia-TLH> OH SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
* Sequoia-TLH is eated.
<furry_mascot> Think of the team TLH!
* Sequoia-TLH is now known as Fishfood-TLH
<Komiyan> now reel it in
* furry_mascot reeels it in
<Komiyan> and we can cut tlh out of it, maybe, later
<Mooman> Hurrah! Now it has a tummy bug
* Fishfood-TLH says, rather muffled, "Help, the stomach acid! She burns like regular acid!"
<furry_mascot> lets wait 5 minutes before we cut him out
<furry_mascot> For no particular reason
* Mooman stabs the sick Giant Sea Bass in the frickin' face!
<Komiyan> no, it does 3d6 crushing damage a round
* Komiyan filets the giant fish
<Komiyan> now fry it and serve it with giant chips.
<War> Is Bob still here?
<furry_mascot> He's lying around somewhere
<furry_mascot> Starting to smell I suppose
<War> Yes he is.
<War> Your newspost said that SB was gonna restart before christmas!
<furry_mascot> DAMNIT
<furry_mascot> I er
<furry_mascot> Yes
<furry_mascot> but
* furry_mascot steals the gold and runs!
* furry_mascot has left #keenspace
<Mooman> Oh no!
PART VIII
<Mooman> After all that
<Mooman> he really was guilty
<Fishfood-TLH> ...
<Fishfood-TLH> So that was the plan all along.
<Mooman> He had me duped
<Komiyan> well, he wont be so bothered about us bringing him back to life
<Komiyan> let's go kick the corpse
<Fishfood-TLH> Maybe he pretended to be dead too.
<Mooman> What a fantastic twist towards the end of the film
<Mooman> Now I'm going to go on a downward spiral as I cannot learn to trust anyone.
<Komiyan> angst.
<Mooman> Through a montage I will slowly become a broken man
<Mooman> But will be brought back from the brink as I learn that the most important thing is friends. And money.
<Fishfood-TLH> The montage will have whiskey in it.
<Fishfood-TLH> Possibly hookers.
<Mooman> Then there will be a grand confrontation scene, as Bob reveals his entire plan to kill Jimmy Saville and take his powers, thus making him a God.
<Komiyan> the power to fix it..
<Mooman> Any way he chooses!!!
<Komiyan> a greater power than one man should hold
<Mooman> So the rag tag team of Komi, CJ, TLH and I will band together and fight him
<Mooman> With various little characters returning to help throughout
<Fishfood-TLH> Whee!
<Komiyan> and then, there's the sequel.
<Mooman> And at the end I will sacrafice myself by hurling both Bob and I through another portal to the Limbo dimension, where he shall be unable to do anything to the peaceful land of Keenspace.
* War kicks Mooman in the crotchThis Mooman and Bob adventure was brought to you be keenspace and scrumtuckles. Drink scrumtuckles , f*ckers!!!
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